Even the most confident, capable sugar baby isn’t made of stone. It goes without saying that going through a breakup with a sugar daddy you really cared about isn’t easy. But if you’re like many sugar babies, you probably do pressure yourself to feel totally OK about it when your ex starts dating someone else.
The thing is, it’s natural to have some complicated feelings about it when your ex moves on, regardless of how things ended between you. This might even be the case if you’re also dating someone else, and that’s normal. Here are some pointers for dealing with it like a champ.
Find an outlet for your feelings
It’s not good for any sugar baby to deny her feelings or keep them all bottled up inside. No, you don’t have to tell anyone who’ll listen, but you do need to find a healthy outlet for those feelings sooner rather than later.
Talk things out with a friend or relative you trust, or confide in another sugar baby who might be in a unique position to understand. If you don’t want to talk about it with an actual person, try writing it down in a private journal or writing your ex a letter you never send.
Remember you broke up for a reason
It’s not uncommon even for sugar babies who were cheated on or who don’t even like or miss their exes to have complicated feelings about it all when a daddy they used to date finds someone else. It can feel a lot like someone stole something that belonged to you and leave you looking back on that relationship with rose-colored glasses.
So if you’re prone to that kind of thinking, actively remind yourself of all the reasons why it didn’t work out the first time – especially if you were the one who ended things. It makes it a lot easier to cope.
Stay out of their orbit for a while
Out of sight is almost always also out of mind if you’re as busy as most sugar babies, so do what you can to minimize the number of times you’ll run into your ex and his new squeeze. For example, if you have many of the same favorite hangout spots, pick some alternatives to try out for a while.
Resist any urges you might have to deliberately indulge your morbid curiosity about how your ex is with his new sugar baby. Instead, focus on having fun and connecting with the people still in your life, especially if any of them include a new sugar daddy of your own to love.
Give yourself time to heal at your own pace
Everyone secretly hopes they’ll be the one to put their life back together first after a breakup. They want to be the one who looks great and like they’re thriving while their ex looks awful. And they naturally want to be the first one to find someone else, as well.
But you shouldn’t sweat it if that person doesn’t happen to be you in this instance. Healing after a breakup isn’t a race with a winner and a loser. Instead of channeling all your energy on being the first to get over your ex when a breakup occurs, focus on defining happiness for yourself and finding healthy ways to get back there.
Place your focus on your own life
When you and your ex-sugar daddy went your separate ways, the two of you agreed to move on with your lives based on what was best for both of you. That means what your ex is doing now is really none of your business, and it’s healthiest to live like you know that.
So focus on what your life is all about right now. Spend more time with your friends and loved ones. Take the class you never had time for before, or go after that sweet promotion at work you’ve wanted for so long. And when you’re ready, get back out there and have fun meeting other sugar daddies to go out with.
Stay off of his social media
Many people think of a little social media stalking as a relatively harmless way to keep up with what their ex is up to, but it’s honestly just as bad as stalking them offline. It may even be worse for you emotionally, as nearly everyone curates their social media feeds to make their lives look better than they are.
So do whatever it takes to resist the temptation. If the two of you aren’t friends or in touch anymore, consider simply blocking your ex to give yourself some peace. And if you are, maybe now is a good time for a social media break in favor of doing more things offline.
So at the end of the day, you’re not a bad feminist or insecure for actually caring that your ex is seeing someone new. You’re just a sugar baby in need of some better ways to cope, is all.